4.20am - a long night

These days, nothing excites me—except maybe the thrill of ordering fresh vegetables and fruits, a fleeting excitement that lasts until they arrive.

Nothing makes me sad either, except finding a forgotten, rotten cucumber in the fridge. The one I meant to eat but never did.

Some days, everything feels so heavy. Other days, I spend hours wondering what exactly feels so heavy.

Some days are a blur, and on those days, I obsess over what should be crystal clear.

Some days, I’m utterly clueless. Other days, I’m stuck asking myself, “What clue am I even searching for?”

Some days are exhausting, while other days I wonder if there’s anything else they were supposed to be.

Loneliness washes over me some days, and on others, I lose myself in thoughts of who I wish I could be with. Who is mine? To whom am I?

There are days when pain feels unbearable, and then there are days when it’s like pain is just a theory, something abstract and distant.

Through these all, only Biofreeze keeps me sane, Why face life’s riddles when I can just numb the pain?

4.20am - a long night